We visited the fire station tonight. Not only did the girls get to see Daddy, but also their buddies Richard and Zane.

Richard asked The Lu what she wanted from Santa this year and this was her response "A Spiderman bike and underpants I can eat."

GULP! My daughter is telling my husband's fellow firefighter (and the husband of one of my best friends) that she wants edible underwear for Christmas! I swear on her life that there are and have never been underpants that can be eaten ANYWHERE in this house. Chris would have been served divorce papers had he even mentioned those two words in the same sentence.

But that kid...that kid seriously has an odd sense of humor. She finds anything with the word underpants, butt, poop or toilet to be absolutely hilarious. You'd think she was a boy! But edible underpants? Dear Lord, we're in trouble when that kid goes to college! Can you home school college students?

Needless to say, I don't know that The Lu will be allowed to visit Santa this year. We don't want him calling CPS on us. A lot has changed in a year. Last year she asked him for an alligator. This year she wants edible underpants.

I 'm just gonna let this one go right here. The damage is done.

As if that wasn't enough, earlier this morning Roo saw me getting dressed and referring to my chest she asks, "Are those things full of milk?" To which I reply, "No. Only when I have a baby." To which she replies, "Then why are they so big?" To which I get to reply using one of the lines I've waited my whole life to use, "Because I'm the mom. That's why."

I just didn't think I'd be referring to my BOOBS when I used it.

Kids: 2.
Mom: 0.

Guess I'll just taken an Ambien and go to bed now. Because I'm the mom. That's why.